we're onto you, asshole.

^above right, the hot guy I'm marrying.

at left center, a guy who has trouble getting laid because his eyes are way too close together.

I have a hobby. it involves reading, watching and listening to things that make me furious. usually Bill O’Reilly gets my blood boiling when I want to raise my blood pressure, but I’ve also become a big fan of reading the blogs of pick-up artists. I’m sure you’ve all, by now, heard of “the game,” a series of tactics that men who consider themselves “alpha males” use in attempts to get into women’s pants. I would hope these men would figure out that women are onto their bullshit games, but they keep on trucking, regardless.

one of their biggest proponents is a Washington, D.C. blogger by the name of Roissy. Roissy has developed a “dating market value” test, in which he lets us know that the ideal woman is: 17 to 20 years old, needs little makeup, is within the IQ range of 80% of people in the world, with D sized firm breasts, long legs, a round ass, flat stomach, toned arms, small hands, essentially hairless, small waist, smooth skin, plump lips, big eyes, is helpful, not competitive, doesn’t swear, smiles often, and who loves wearing sexy lingerie, giving blowjobs and doing anal and will try every sexual position. if this man isn’t mainstream media’s consumer darling, I don’t know who is. he’s after some essential virgin/whore that doesn’t exist, a stereotype of a woman within a heteronormative sphere, a youthful little wife-type with no opinions of her own and total reverence of men. he wants a submissive mail order bride because he’s so insecure that he can’t bear to be with a woman who might disagree with him or decide she doesn’t need him (PUAs are even more afraid of lesbians than they are of outspoken women).

one of his loyal followers: “But one can’t escape one’s genes, not even liberated moderns. Now unshackled, women are not inherently polyandrous. Rather, they tend towards serially [sic] monogamy.”

not only do these men fail to understand that women are human, they also choose to put 3 billion people in the world into one category. see the Zoe tribe of the Amazon, the Nepalese & Tibetan polyandrists, and the fact that you have never taken an anthropology class in your life.

Roissy is classic for contradicting himself.

“If she’s the gossipy, backstabbing, conniving sort who drips with sarcasm and generally disdains everyone around her, you can bet her black soul will seek sustenance on a carousel of cock.”

two paragraphs later…

“You want to be on the lookout for manic depressives and girls who can’t make it through a ten minute conversation without screeching in phony excitement.”

the message: a woman should never be cynical. nor should she feign niceness. she should be nice, all the time, despite the fact that on an almost daily basis there are pick-up artists breathing down her neck and hoping they can get her panties off, while she routinely faces discrimination in work and pretty much every other avenue of life.

and lastly, the fucking insanely racist piece de resistance:

“Sorry, folks, hate to say it, but going by my personal experience and what I’ve heard from friends, black chicks seem to sleep around more. Don’t blame me, I’m just the Deliverer Of Truths Best Left Unsaid But I’m Going To Say Anyhow.”

buy into socialized bullshit much? I bet he also believes everything Billy Mays ever told him, and that we’re winning the war in Iraq. also, Asian women are submissive, black men have huge penises and I’m a fat unattractive man-hating lesbian feminazi who needs a good fucking.

ultimately, Roissy and his ilk are merely men who use misogynistic and racist stereotypes as a means to explain whatever they’re not secure enough in admitting exists outside of the sphere of white male middle-class existence. a woman isn’t nice to you and thinks what you say is stupid? she’s a big fat whore! A woman is annoying? also a whore! she’s black and therefore has no common experience with me or interest in sleeping with me? total backdoor slut.

from the comments on a post:

“It seems that the betas would want to team up with the alphas and try to get better against our natural nemesis – women.”

the magnitude to which these men hate women is obvious, but what I’ve found more glaring is the fact that all of them hate themselves. they are obsessed with women – spending hours “practicing” even how to approach women, before even attempting to bed them. they assume “game” as their personalities because in reality, none of them are interesting, clever, intelligent or attractive enough for women to actually want to sleep with them. by becoming someone else, they can trick women into falling for them, though the women are actually falling for the psychological bullshit unloaded upon them, since the women they prey on are generally not smart or self-confident enough to see through it. the entire lives of these men revolve around women – whom they hate. they hate women because they can’t get over their obsession with vaginas; and, by extension, the keepers of those vaginas. Roissy advocates acquiring a nice car and a good job – not because they improve the life of the man, but because that’s what women like. I don’t understand how someone can be an “alpha male” when they’re actually living their lives entirely in a sad attempt to impress women.